Why Anxiety Isn’t Just “Worrying”—How to Explain the Reality to Loved Ones
We’ve all been there—trying to explain anxiety to someone who just doesn’t get it. They might say, “Oh, I worry too, but I just shake it off,” or “Why are you stressing? There’s nothing to worry about.”
If only it were that simple, right?
The truth is, anxiety isn’t just worrying, and it can be hard to explain that to friends and family.
Here’s how to break it down in a way they can understand, without feeling like you need a psychology degree to explain your feelings.
Anxiety vs. Worry: What’s the Difference?
Anxiety isn’t the same as being worried about something. Everyone worries about things from time to time (like a big project at work or an argument with a friend). But anxiety is more than that—it’s a constant feeling that something is wrong, even when everything seems fine.
Worry is temporary and usually tied to a specific event.
Anxiety sticks around, often for no clear reason, and can feel like a heavy weight on your chest.
Common Misconceptions
You’ve probably heard some of these before:
"Everyone feels anxious sometimes."
"Just stop worrying so much!"
While people do experience moments of anxiety, those with anxiety disorders live with these feelings almost daily, often with no “off switch.”
How to Explain Anxiety to Loved Ones
If your friends or family don’t understand your anxiety, these tips can help you communicate in a way that clicks for them.
1. Use Simple Comparisons
Sometimes it’s easier to explain anxiety by using an example they can relate to.
Example: “Imagine feeling like you’re about to give a speech to a huge crowd every day—whether you’re actually going to or not.”
Another one: “It’s like having an alarm going off in your head, but you can’t figure out what’s causing it.”
These comparisons can help them visualize how overwhelming anxiety can be.
2. Keep it Simple
Don’t feel like you need to go into the nitty-gritty details. Explain it in simple, straightforward terms.
Example: “It’s not something I can just snap out of. Sometimes, my brain is wired to be on high alert, even when there’s no real danger.”
By avoiding complex medical terms, you’re more likely to help them understand what you’re feeling.
3. Explain the Physical Side
Anxiety isn’t just a mental thing—it can hit you physically, too.
Racing heart
Trouble breathing
Stomach aches
Exhaustion
Example: “Sometimes, it feels like I can’t catch my breath, even though I’m just sitting here. It’s not something I can control, and it’s exhausting.”
When they realize it’s affecting your body, it can make it more “real” to them.
How to Ask for Help When You’re Anxious
Asking for help when you're feeling anxious can be tough. You might worry about being a burden, or feel like you should handle things on your own. But reaching out is important, and it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Here are some tips:
1. Be Direct, But Gentle
It’s okay to ask for what you need without apologizing or feeling guilty.
Example: “I’ve been feeling really anxious lately, and I could use some support. Could we talk for a few minutes?”
2. Be Clear About What You Need
Whether it’s just a listening ear, or someone to help with a task, let them know how they can help.
Example: “I don’t need solutions right now, just someone to listen.”
3. Choose the Right Person
Reach out to someone you trust—someone who has been supportive before, or who you know will take your feelings seriously.
4. Start Small
If it feels overwhelming to open up completely, start by sharing a little. You can always share more as the conversation progresses.
Example: “I’ve been feeling more anxious than usual, and I think it’s time I talk to someone about it.”
Asking for help can feel intimidating, but it’s a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve support, and the people who care about you will want to be there for you!
Final Thoughts
Anxiety is often misunderstood, especially by those who don’t experience it firsthand. But with the right approach, you can help your friends and family understand that it’s not just “worrying” and that it impacts both your mind and body.
Remember: You don’t have to explain yourself to everyone. But for those who matter, a little patience and a simple conversation can go a long way.
